The most common question I get asked is “What did you do to tune into your intuition”? The answer is, the universe decided for me. The universe decided enough was enough. It was time for me to wake up. I had to go through a lot of things and learn a lot of hard lessons. I took the hard road often. I still stumble upon that hard road at times. I have 40 years of built up ideals and thought patterns lol… To be totally honest when I was first awakened I was scared out of my mind. I thought I was going crazy. I decided that I needed to learn more about my gifts. I need to learn about them to cultivate them. I did this because I really wanted to understand them. Not to mention I wanted to use my gifts to help lift others up. I had this deep knowing inside of me that I am supposed to help others and assist them along their life journey. As crazy as it was the universe was waking me up and igniting my passion.
It really was a combination of a few small steps everyday. Everyday I made an honest effort to understand myself more and really getting to know who I was, where I came from and what made me tick. I started making mindful decisions and directed my energy on focusing on loving myself, cultivating a better environment internally and externally.These things consisted of working out, meditating, reading books, keeping a journal and taking classes are a few examples. I even started researching my family linage. Out of all the things I did, the one thing that helped me connect and understand the most was sitting with myself. I had to quiet the mind. I had to let go of judgement, guilt and shame. I learned the importance of breath, identifying my energy, releasing energy and trusting in my spiritual team/universe.
Let me tell you it has not been easy. Some days are harder than others. There are days that I wake up and think I do not want to do this today. Some days I wake up and think things are too good to be true. Then I have to choose to replace those thoughts. I start with a routine. I visualize the good that I know and see going on in my life. It helps bring me right into the present moment. Other days I wake up on top of my game. The key is everyday I wake up and make a choice. I choose to give the most honest attempt to live out of a place of love, gratitude and appreciation for the day and all the things in it. It does get easier the more you do it. Soon you begin to realize even the days that used to cripple you are not as bad as you once thought.
Another question I get asked is “What do you have to give up to be in tune with your abilities?” Well, to be honest I don’t feel like I have given up anything. Have I stopped doing things that I would have done in the past? Absolutely! Are their behaviors that I have changed? Yes! Do I feel like I gave them up? No. I have the choice/free will to do and participate in the human experience just like everyone else. There are things I choose not to do because I just choose not to.
The big misconception about being spiritual is that you live the life of a saint or that you don’t have bad days. The fact is it is quite the opposite. Now this is what I believe and know to be true through guidance I have received. We are all human living the human experience. Your experience is just that your experience. It is ultimately your choice how you live it. The real question is where and how do you want to exchange your energy. Being spiritual means you deal with energy. All types of energy. Which means you also deal with emotion, and people. It also means you have wants, needs and desires too. My advice is always this. Don’t feel like you have to five something up to be in tune with your abilities. Sometimes it is just that our old choices and actions don’t align anymore.
Its really all about acceptance. Understanding that you have been through things. You have made choices and done things. That is the past. The past has taught you lessons on what serves you and what no longer serves you. You can’t change it so you accept it. Continuing to worry about the could have, would have, should have just hinders your ability to see the now and the growth/progress you have made since then. My advice there is love yourself through those moments. Show yourself some compassion. We are just souls living the human experience using our knowledge and tools to the best we can.
I also get a lot of questions in regards to how did you do your shadow work? Where did you start? How painful is it? Like I mentioned earlier, the universe kinda decided my awakening for me. The universe wake up! Look yourself in the mirror! What are you doing? Everything that triggered me was thrown at me all at one time. A ton of change was thrown at me all at one. Looking back I see that the universe was trying to get my attention for a while now. I just was closed minded. So I was slapped in the face with all my insecurities, judgements, guilt, heartbreak and anything I may have suppressed. I just had to make the choice to do the work because things were happening and out of my own hands. The only way for me to move forward was to face myself. I did A LOT more meditation. I still do a lot more meditation. I constantly have to take time outs and assess actions with the emotions that I may be feeling. I have been through a life time of living. I have people, events and things that trigger me. Understanding what my triggers are and how to identify when I am being triggered takes some work. It can be a little painful but it also is very liberating. There is freedom in it so embrace it.
Honestly, I really do not like the “shadow work” term. I know not everyone will agree but it really has you focus on the parts of you that you hide and do accept. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe that you have to love every part of yourself unconditionally. This includes the parts of you that you do not like or may hide from yourself and the world. I don’t like that sometimes it is interpreted as that is the only thing you have to work on to connect, release blockages and unlock yourself to connect to higher. Don”t get me wrong. I am in no way shape or form saying to not identify the parts of yourself that cause self-judgement, guilt, shame and unworthiness. It is definitely a needed and required process to develop your intuition so you really trust, listen and understand it. Looking yourself in the mirror and retraining the subconscious is one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. In my situation it was all about the whole being. All of me . I focused on the shadow-side and light-side together because it was what I needed to do on my path for growth. I like to refer to it as “Whole-Being work”.
I really believe it should be called “Whole Being work”. This is what I envision and what has worked for me. It is a combination of focusing your energy on loving and understanding your emotions on all levels. The emotions associated with traumas and the emotions associated with achievement/feeling love etc… It’s all about cultivating the internal environment (soul) and finding a way to have balance and love for all of you. You can’t just focus on the traumas. Especially if you are like me. I was the person that could easily get stuck in past cycles. I needed to focus on cultivating the good with the not so good. The shadow side is definitely part of you and that is perfectly fine. We are all imperfectly perfect. Do not forget that. Your shadow side teaches lessons to lead to wisdom. However, you have strengths and abilities that also need your attention. Your strengths and abilities are there to help you navigate things life throws at you. We lean on our strengths during tough times. Therefore, they need to be nourished and loved also. Thus the idea of “whole being work”.
This is what has worked for me. When I made the choice to really understand my gift I took an approach that focused on me as a whole. I didn’t just work on healing the traumas or what I hid from everyone else. I also worked on my strengths and used the things I knew I was good at to help me make positive change. This allowed me to work on my internal environment and external environment simultaneously. I also want to add that this in a continuous process. Even now I am taking small steps daily to continue to grow my gift and cultivate/manifest my most abundant life by taking an active role as the co-creator.