If I was to be honest, everything in my life is not sunshine in rainbows. Nobody has a life where they are happy all the time. Just like everyone else there are things that I don’t want to deal with. Come on who really wants to look at the parts of themselves that some would consider “toxic”? I certainly didn’t and still don’t like doing it. I am here to tell you that you are not alone. We all go through it. Do not be afraid to seek guidance on how to go through the process. Shoot just yesterday I had to reach out for clarity, direction and guidance. Healing, growing and change is a continuous process. Energy is always moving and changing. We are energy which means we are constantly changing too. That means who you were yesterday you are not today. There is only who you are today. Don’t get lost in the idea of being stuck, feeling unworthy or whatever self-imposed belief you have bestowed upon yourself.
We all have parts of ourselves that need healing. Trust the process. You have to feel your way through it. To get to it! Don’t get lost in the thoughts. Feel them, identify the emotion, accept it and then release it. There are things about myself that I don’t want anyone to see. Yes, I can be a mean person. There are people that would say I was mean and they have every right to say that. I probably was mean to them and probably did something to them that didn’t align with their belief or values.
Overall I try my very best to treat people well. I never set an intention that I am going to hurt. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I am human like everyone else. Sometime I can be hot headed and let my mouth run away with me. One thing that my awakening has taught me is that I have to accept myself for it. So I do. I forgive myself when I stick my foot in my mouth. Then I look at the why behind it. Why did I get hot headed? What was being triggered at the moment? What part did I play in the situation? I mean real part. Not my side of the story part. When was the first time I felt that emotion. I identify it and I let it go. I release the guilt, judgement and self-imposed attachment to it and release it up. I release it to the universe. I ask for healing. I ask for clarity. That doesn’t mean that I am never triggered again. It means that I have identified the why and now I can accept the part I played.
Whole being work is not easy. I say whole being work because I think it important to work on the whole self. The whole self because the shadow side of you never goes away. You just learn to accept yourself for it. Your shadow side will always be apart of you. It is not like you can detach it and throw it away. So accept it. Love the shadow part of you like you would the light part. Remember the light needs the dark just like the dark needs the light. There is beauty in both. Accept the parts of you that you look upon or have been programmed to believe are unfavorable.
The real question you need to ask yourself is “who gets to say it is unfavorable”? You or someone else? Who are you giving that power to? Let me tell you I have given my power away too many times! No more! I take my power back. I have cared what others have thought about me. I have dimmed and pushed my needs and desires off for way too long. I have kept quite at times when I wanted to scream No at the top of my lungs. I have allowed myself to be hid in the shadows and for what. The happiness of others. The worry that because I have a different view or might be a little eccentric compared to them they will judge me. You know what that is fine. Let them judge. They have every right to think or act how they want it’s their life. Just like it is my life.
Have you spoke up and actually spoke what you want? Or have you been saying everything you don’t want? Now that I look back at I see that when I would speak about what I don’t want the more what I didn’t want would happen. Words are powerful. No more! Now I catch myself. When I start to say I don’t want I quickly rephrase to what I do want. Remember people only hear part of what you tell them so make sure that you are telling them what you want.
I said this earlier and I will say this again. Whole-being work is hard! It is hard to accept yourself for the good, bad and ugly. Some days will be easier compared to others. That is OK. There is nothing wrong with having a not so great day. Those days pass. Just like the good days pass. That is life. That is the amazing thing about life. It is like a roller coaster of ups and downs that fill you with a plethora of emotions/feelings. So roll with it. Learn to go with the flow. Teach yourself to accept yourself for who you are. Be the person that eats lunch and hears an amazing song on the radio and dances in the seat while you eat. Why not! Enjoy it. Who cares who is watching? If you feel it do it. Laugh at yourself when someone else laughs at you. It’s good to laugh at yourself. Laughter is good for the soul! I encourage you to laugh at me. Maybe you just being you making them laugh raised their vibration and didn’t even know it. Accept yourself as you are. Doing so will also allow you to accept others for who they are. Everyone wants acceptance! There is no better place to start. So look yourself in the mirror and tell that person looking a back that you love them. You forgive them for all the things you have done to yourself and other. Then tell them you accept them. You accept them for who they are. The person they are in this moment.